English Speaking - An Echo Only from Commitment
——The Experience of Learning and Practicing
Spoken English by a Laosanjie Graduate
To my Chinese friends
who have been experiencing a long journey
of perseverance in
learning and practicing spoken English
John Y. 2013.12.
Introduction
It was during the late summer of 1971 at Denghui Tang Auditorium of Fudan University in Shanghai, five years after the eruption of the Great Cultural Revolution in China, and more than twenty years of disconnected communication between the New China and the United States of America since 1949. A ceremony held to welcome a US delegation from people was about to start.
Inside and outside the auditorium was an ocean of human gathering. As "Lao San Jie" alumni (the junior & senior high school graduates between 1966 and 1968) from Fudan University Affiliated High School, driven by the curiosity on those fresh Americans, some of my friends and I were squeezing into the crowds with extraordinary excitement.
A foreign gentleman in a black suit and with grey hair took to the rostrum. He was introduced as the Head of the US delegation. Then a young Chinese man, dressed in green military uniform and with a "Red Guard" (Hong Weibing) armband also took to the rostrum, standing beside the American. He was said the Chinese interpreter.
The American spoke, paused, but there was no responsive interpreting. He spoke and paused again, there was still no response. “Is he dumb? ...” Suddenly, a burst of angry shouts rose up from the audience towards the young interpreter: "Down, down! Change, change ..."
The Red Guard stumbled down, came up a nice looking young woman who was also dressed in green military uniform but with no Red Guard armband. Someone whispered that she was a teacher from the Foreign Language Department. As not bearing the Red Guard but only a “Hei Wulei” (the Five-Category of Bad People), she was banned from stepping up in the beginning. Now the whole hall had fallen into dead silence again, and all eyes were gazing at this young charming face: what would she be able to do?
The foreigner calmed down and went on with his speech, while the young woman gave her interpreted words one after another, with a soft but firm voice so clear and fluent that every translation was broken up by a stormy applause from the audience. It was apparently not only towards the friendly words by the American, but also the young female interpreter herself...
The American ended his speech, the Chinese young woman also stepped down. But the audience didn't want to stop applauding and agitating. "She is so great!" Someone had exclaimed with admiration. Then I was among these crowds, for the first time in my life, experiencing a moment of magical power and shock of perfect language skills with spoken English.
At that time, I was unable to imagine that two decades later it wouldn’t be difficult for me myself either to stand beside a head of the U.S. delegation for such simultaneous interpretation.
PART ONE
1. From the “Pigsty English” to “Foreign Teacher’s Class”
At about the end of 1968 I graduated from Fudan University Affiliated High school and settled at Luodian People’s Commune in Baoshan County, a far northern area of Shanghai. After two years “Fighting against the Sky and Struggling with the Earth”, I was "selected" as a swineherd by villagers to raise all sows and pigs which were possessed by the collective.
In those years, such sayings as "Going to school is useless" or "Learning English is worth nothing" were widely believed in the society. English, as “Garbage of Feudalism, Capitalism and Revisionism" had been swept into trash heap. English study had been abolished from all primary and secondary education in the whole country. But to my mind, it should never been given up. From the "old paper heap" at home I had dug out some English books and took them to the countryside. Whenever there was spare time after feeding the pigs, I’d like to sit by the pig shed and read English books while the squawking of the animals could be heard up and down and all around. But I didn't realize that this would have brought me big trouble later on.
One day, the cadres from Production Brigade headed by the Party Branch Secretary came to my village for a “site production examination”. When passing by my pig shed, the party head had happened to see I was stooped over reading something, so he came up and asked: "What are you doing?" Since I had nowhere to cover it up, I showed my English book to him and said: "I am reviewing English."
He suddenly snatched the book from me and with his face frowning, said: "What? English? How could you dare to exercise such Feng-Zi-Xiu while receiving re-education in countryside?" Saying this, he angrily threw the book to the ground and went away. I knew something was going to happen.
Sure enough, after a few days at the “all brigade members’ meeting”, the party leader launched harsh comments directed at me. "Now, in our brigade, some individual intellectual youth failed to take the re-education, missing the Feng-Zi-Xiu, still read English books while raising the pigs. How come! This is serious and can’t be tolerated. The village leaders must take action to fix it …”
Despite this, I was not scared and kept studying on my “foreign garbage” only now under the table. My fellow villagers also felt sympathy for me and ignored the party head’s threatening. Three years later they further elected me as the Political Chief of the village production team so that a student "swineherd" turned out to be a "village official". Two years later, my performance was finally recognized by the brigade and I was relocated to the Shanghai Normal University (now as the East China Normal University) for teacher’s training. This had laid a foundation for my entry to the university two years later.
In 1977, I took the first National College Entrance Examination after the Cultural Revolution and was admitted to Zhejiang University (ZU) in mechanics major. My English course was exempted because I chose the optional English test in the exam and had scored over 80 points, which was far enough past the exemption line of 60 for English by ZU. Among these 80 freshmen in my department only two were entitled with such honor, and I was one of them. This was in response to what was called “God will never forget those who work with great endeavor”. My "never abandon, never give up" policy in English finally paid off.
In retrospect, I was sticking with my special interest and staying true to my ambitions in English study during my middle school years. This was largely thanks to two middle schools I attended that had high quality English education and outstanding English teachers. I went to Shanghai Tongji Middle School for junior study and Fudan University Affiliated High School for senior study. The teachers who taught me English were Mr. Chen Zongyang and Mr. Zou Jiayuan. They respectively graduated from two top universities with top English specialty in China: English Department of Shanghai Institute of Foreign Languages (now as Shanghai Foreign Language University) and Foreign Language Department of Fudan University. These two schools and two teachers left me with a strong English background that has benefitted me in decades of study, life and work, including overseas study ever since.
After entering ZU, I felt bad with that it had no English class for me at all. Fortunately, in the third year the university opened a special English class for students with exception status – the “foreign teacher’s English class”. The teacher was a white young man invited from the US. Today the foreign teacher’s English class is nothing new for even middle school students, but in more than 30 years ago when China had just opened its doors to the world, a white guy with blue eyes and brown hairs sitting in the classroom, talking with a group of Chinese students, was truly a miracle. Especially since China had just established diplomatic relations with the US not too long ago.
Because the regular courses for us were tight, our foreign teacher’s English class was scheduled quite infrequently, only once a week. But we all attended it with great enthusiasm. Maybe this was because of the way this American guy had been teaching, which was much different from that of our traditional English class mainly focused on grammar and reading. Most of the time, this guy was just having free talks with students. Although there was a textbook, he never followed it. Sometimes he had referred to it, but it was only a simple glance and he would quickly shift back to his boundless but colorful talks again. Sometimes he even took us to school campus or by the West Lake for a so-called "site class".
During that class students were all quite active, competing with each other for more chatting minutes from the teacher. But this young "Laomei"(American guy) liked to chat with girls, the pretty girls foremost and we boys got little chance. Fortunately, he often went to a snack shop near the school at lunch for noodles, and I had the same hobby, so I always had the opportunity to meet him there and chatted with him in English while enjoying noodles. It was from this young American guy that I initiated my learning and practicing spoken English with particular interest.
When recalling my foreign teacher’s class at ZU, I would admit that it was really a start of enlightenment for my spoken English study. I also learnt for the first time, that the study of English could be away from the textbook or out of the classroom, and that might be a more effective way to accomplish it. To these days, when living and working in China, I’ve kept this hobby often taking my foreign friends, no matter if they’re white or black, young or old, American or others, to nearby restaurants, tea houses or other casual places. We are out there not only for foods, drinks or fun, but also for cross-culture communication and exchange.
2. American professor dosen't understand Chinese English
In the autumn of 1986, as a "self-apply, self-pay"(Zifei Zipai) applicant (in contrast to Zifei Gongpai, or those who got funds from and were sent by the government) for graduate studies in the United States, I was admitted to the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) on a PhD program in psychology, lucky enough to be sponsored by its special fellowship.
Before then, I had passed the TOEFL test qualifying me for English proficiency, which was a requirement of the first-class graduate schools in the US. At the same time I was also self-pleased with my oral English, since I had taken “foreign teachers’ class” for a period and often practiced English speaking with my schoolmates at ZU. This situation is quite similar to many college students nowadays who have passed CET 4 or CET 6 then have over evaluation with their own spoken English.
But I had encountered big problems with my spoken English when I first got to the US. My enrollment in psychology at UCLA was a rare case with cross-grade and cross-major studies. Psychology was not my undergraduate major and the department of psychology at UCLA was not offering a master degree. All enrolled graduate students pursued only PhD. In the US, psychology is a comprehensive subject integrating mental, life and social sciences that demanded excellent mastering of English with both background and application skills in communication. This was far beyond what a "layman" could have hoped to approach. Therefore the English language demands, particularly the oral communication skills, had brought me an unprecedented challenge.
The earliest problem came from the communication between my graduate advisor, Prof. Bernard Weiner and I. As a noted scholar in the US and international society of cognitive psychology, Prof. Weiner was well-known for his Motivation and Attribution theory. For a newcomer like me from China, he had shown his exceptional understanding and caring, and during our first meeting in his office, sent me a copy of his latest publication with his autograph: Theory of Human Motivation. Then the problem came up. He treated me as an ordinary student and spoke really fast. I just couldn't keep up with him. When I spoke, though he often seemed to listen to me carefully, I could see signs of confusion and incomprehension on his face, and he always had to interrupt me saying, "John, can you say it again?" I felt that he might have never understood what I was talking about. But out of politeness he didn’t pour cold water on my feelings. That had made me feel even more ashamed. I was confused: “Don't I speak English?”
The other barrier was from my “buddy”, a native graduate student assigned by the department to help a new foreign student person-to-person. She was a blonde white girl, with the same major specialization in "Personality Psychology" as I but in a higher grade. Unfortunately the communication between us later on proved not that polite and friendly as between Weiner and me because of the language barrier.
I still remember the last time I communicated with her on Thanksgiving Day of my first school year when she was back in her hometown Seattle for holidays. Since I had something consulting her about, I made a long distance call from LA to Seattle. After the phone connected, I spoke a few words and heard a voice from the other side, "Pardon?"
This word is popular nowadays and when used here it means "I don't understand" or "please say it again". But in those days many Chinese, including me, had no knowledge about it. What I had learnt was its written explanation: "please forgive me". So when my buddy said "please forgive me" to start the conversation, I didn’t understand what she meant and was really puzzled.
Maybe due to the failure of response, my buddy thought I might have not caught it, so she repeated: "Pardon?" But I still couldn’t respond. Then I heard a sound "pa" from the other side and the phone was hung up. From then on my buddy had never contacted me again.
This event and many others after taught me a lesson of the "instant reaction" principle while speaking English with a foreigner in normal language environment, in which a learner must not only respond, but more importantly, respond immediately and effectively. Otherwise such communication could only end with "sorry, I got to go, bye!" from the other side.
With such problems there was an even more embarrassing case for me. In my graduate classes, most students were American or from English speaking countries and only a few oriental faces could be seen. One day in a class of Human Sexual Behavior, students were all actively following the professor with questions and discussing. Maybe the professor had noticed that there was only me sitting in the corner quietly, so he walked up to me and asked: "Hi, does that make sense to you?"
Not knowing what he meant, I merely remained silent. At this moment in the classroom all other students turned to me as though they were watching an alien and I felt so embarrassed that I just wanted to dig a hole and hide in it.
In fact, this was a very common expression, which means "do you understand?" But at that time I really didn't understand so how could I answer it? There was an old Chinese saying: "Soldiers aware of shame then become brave". This event aroused my resolution to learn perfect communication skills in English from that day on.
After that, I had taken various roles in positions that had given me contact with all kinds of people in the US. I worked in a Chinese restaurant as a busboy, as a Yellow Cab driver in Chinatown, as a housekeeper for a Chinese family, at Pizza Hut as a delivery guy, as a cover teacher at an elementary school, as an errand for a travel agency, as a manager in a downtown motel and as a domestic assistant for a CEO of a brand US company. More than ten years of study, work and living in the States made me realize that what I had learnt and practiced in China with communicative English was just a sort of Chinglish or Chinese English. While in a real English environment it turned to "Li Gui meets Likui" or “fake meets genuine”, all failed and useless. Therefore, to learn the authentic spoken language in English, I must start from scratch.
3. Listening to talk show and watching soap opera helped most
However, even in the United States it is still not easy for Chinese to get access to the native English speaking environment, nor is it easy to melt into the American society. Chinese and Americans belong to two groups with different languages, cultures, customs and psychological thinking. Few Americans are willing to initiatively join the Chinese community, and vise versa, Chinese joining Americans is even more difficult.
Then, how could I get into English language environment effectively and to eliminate cultural and psychological differences between Chinese and Americans?
While studying at UCLA, I had some Chinese roommates, one studying Math and one studying Double E. They came to the States a few years earlier than I and could speak fluent English with have barrier-free communication with local Americans. One of them even had attended the 1984 World Olympics in Los Angeles as a volunteered interpreter for Chinese delegation. I found that they liked watching American TV talk shows, soap opera dramas and sports games such as live broadcasts of the NBA. While watching they also liked to imitate the voices and speeches by the hosts, characters or players. Since such programs were rich for oral English nutrition, they were of special benefits for training language senses and skills in English with applicable purposes.
Another roommate was the youngest son of Zhao Dan, one of the most famous movie artists of last century in China. We were all from Shanghai, got visa to the US on the same day, came to UCLA at the same time and lived in a same rental apartment in the first year. He studied in Motion Pictures and his early English could hardly been complimented. But when meeting him again several years later I found there was great progress with his listening and speaking skills in English. It was clear that he had taken special advantages of his major which provided him with rich spoken English materials and required intensive training and practicing in English communication.
While watching American TV I had a breathtaking experience at my apartment. It was on a weekend evening and my roommates and I were attentively watching TV in our apartment, as that was our major leisure activity after a whole day of the stressful academic life. Then we heard from out of the window a mixed loud noise of music and din. It was a group of American students holding a party at the opposite student's dorm, singing and dancing crazily. They did it every weekend bothering us a lot, but this time we really couldn’t stand it any more. One of my roommates Chen immediately removed from the wall a toy gun, then took it to the window, pointed it at the opposite dorm and shouted: "Shut up! Shut up!"
This action resulted in a fantastic response. The opposite dorm immediately turned silent. We were all able to return to our TV again.
After a few minutes, suddenly "bang!", there was a crash at the door. Before we could realize what had happened, a few armed LAPD officers broke in with guns pointed at us and shouted loudly: "Hands up, hands up!”, “Down on your knees, down on your knees!”
We all were dumbstruck with hands up above heads and kneeled down on the floor.
"Where is the rifle?" a police officer asked. We immediately realized that the American students from the opposite dorm called the LAPD and the policemen came to the scene in response to a report of the “bandits with a gun”!
At this moment Chen reacted quickly and pled: "That is a toy gun, officer! We are Chinese students. They were making too much noise, and we were just using the toy gun to shut them up!"
The following story was like a conclusion of a comedy. After our defensive explanation, the LAPD seemed satisfied with that this was just a case of misunderstanding. These Chinese students had overreacted with no criminal intent or harmful results. So they turned friendly and gave advice to us when leaving: "Sirs, this is in America, not China. Remember, never point gun even toy-gun at innocent people, it's against the law!"
This event had not only taught me a lesson of common law in the US, but also punctuated how important the fluent English communication skill was. In fact it might break down the cultural barriers, or in some emergency circumstances even dissolve serious conflicts between Chinese and Americans.
I knew I had to improve my language skills, and first of all, I needed to enrich my English language environment by firstly watching soap operas and American movies, listening to the talk shows and other broadcast programs. Later on I found that the best place to practice it was in my car.
In the United States, people could do nothing without a car. In a big city like LA, there were always traffic jams on Freeways, especially during rush hour when all freeways turned into parking lots. Therefore, stumbling on freeways for several hours to and from work became part of my daily routine. But this also provided me with a best chance to listen to the car radio.
Radio broadcasting programs in the US were popular talk shows and some were really attractive. Talk shows were usually played by two hosts and contents covered everything including news, food, living, entertainment or politicians. They were filled with humor and language wisdoms and were very enjoyable. So I gradually generated a hobby that whenever driving or sitting in my car, I’d like to turned the radio on to a talk show and that would have given me at least two or more hours of "listening practice" a day. Sometimes I couldn’t help stop staying in the car listening even after I got home. My language ability with listening and speaking, in addition to the influence of the ordinary language environment, was mostly obtained directly through watching TV and listening to radio talk show programs.
Inherited from the hobby of listening to English talk show in the US, it has become my favorite past time to this day, to watch CCTV English programs (now as CCTV news) as well as its talk shows, such as Crossover, Dialogue, Up Close, New Money, China 24 and others. From my experience these programs are most helpful and effective at improving skills in English with listening and speaking specially for those Chinese learners lacking English communication environment.
4. The most impressive English class at UCLA
Most international students coming to UCLA, according to the rules of the school, had to retake a few months to one year ESL (English as a Second Language) courses to make up their language proficiency, and graduate students were usually mix-grouped with undergraduate students.
During my first year at UCLA, I also took a semester of ESL course. On the student name list there was an eye-catching Chinese name Wang Ji(王姬) from Motion Picture Department, who was quite popular for her role in Chinese film and TV, but we were not in the same class. At that time there were another two young female celebrities known as the “Double-Queen of Chinese Film Festival”(百花、金鸡双料影后) in China, Chen Chong(陈冲) and Zhang Yu(张渝), also studying in LA. Chen was able to study in the Film Department of California State University at Northridge because of her excellence in English, but Zhang was not that lucky. Lacking college diploma from China and not passed the TOEFL, she failed to enroll into any major universities in the US, could only take some part-time English classes at a local adult-school in LA. This story told how critical the English background was for education in the US.
There was one occasion I still remembered that I had communication with Zhang Yu in English. One day my roommate Zhao Jin had not returned to our rent house throughout the midnight. According to his pre-advice I dialed Zhang’s phone number and asked:
"Hello is this Miss Zhang Yu?”
”Yes, speaking.”
” Zhao Jin hadn’t come back yet up to now and seems disappeared. Do you have any idea where he is?”
"Oh, my god! Is he always like this?"
Though there were only a few English words, her voice was so impressive and powerful that just like reading actress’ lines in a movie.
In my ESL class all students were from Asian countries including Korea, Japan, Philippines, Vietnam, except that only I was from China. Surprisingly I found that all their oral English were better than mine, particularly a mixed American-Vietnamese boy who could speak authentic American English that made me really envy. I thought it should be because these Asian countries successively experienced some special relations with the United States after the World-War Second and people were benefitted from the American English language environment.
The instructors for ESL classes were all senior graduate students from Linguistic Department of UCLA and were native English-speakers. They worked as TA (Teaching Assistant) , had gained wages only from a easy job, just like native graduate students majored in Chinese Literature of Beijing University to teach foreign students basic Chinese communication, that’s a piece of cake.
The teacher who taught my English class was also a native girl from the linguistic department. But I didn't appreciate her teaching style very much, because she still adopted the "cram-education" type of teaching a lot, students seldom had the chance to practice communication. At the same time she’d like to talk lots of grammar. I knew she wanted to show the importance of whole learning in English, but it didn't apply to me. Because we students from China had learnt too much English grammar even in the middle schools, which were of more breadth and depth than in American schools.
So, though our teacher spoke perfect American English, but after half year study I found my oral English got little improved. It was not as good as the spare-time communication between students from different countries in my class. That
I recalled then there was a pretty Vietnamese girl in my class, who liked to chat with me in English often, and the same did I. Why so? It was then that I found one of the "principles" of practicing oral English that boys liked to talk with girls in public to show off their skills, while girls liked to take the advantage of being talked to by boys to help their study. This was in response to a famous Chinese saying: “Men would never get tired while grouped together with women to work".
All in all, ESL class at UCLA didn’t leave me much impression, only the last class was an exception. That was the oral test as final which the teacher used to assess students performance, arranging each student to give a featuring presentation in class.
The topics and contents for the test were all prepared by students in advance, while the teacher would give some advice to students. Each speech time would limit in ten minutes, after it teacher and other students might ask questions for the presenter. Finally the teacher would give remarks and grades on students’ performances.
In my memory the topic of my speech was "how to melt into the multi-national melting pot in America and to overcome the culture shock?" Although I was not quite satisfied with my performance, my teacher offered me a lot of encouragement. Only from this class, I felt my English speaking being helped substantially, and the interest of which being raised greatly.
5. Under a skyscraper blacks robbed my walkman with class recordings
While studying at UCLA in the first year there was an incident related to my learning English which made me so sad for a long time. Some black people robbed my walkman and cassette tapes with lecture recordings.
The incident was back to the recording of my class lectures.
Upon entering the Department of Psychology, Prof. Weiner assigned me two compulsory courses to begin with. One was Personality Psychology lectured by department Chairman Prof. Feshbach and the other was Social Psychology lectured by visiting Prof. Marilyn. These two were my favorite professors besides Weiner.
These two lectures looked into the mysteries of human nature from the perspectives of both individual and social and had attracted me the most. However, since the lectures were conducted with profound theories and various case-analyses in English, coupled with a large number of terms, I was overwhelmed. I knew such kind of difficulties, on the one hand, was due to my lack of social, cultural and psychological background in western societies, on the other hand, was more fundamentally caused by my poor English ability with both academic and everyday communication skills. I know that there was no other way around to step over this threshold but to work harder with my language.
Then how to do it? I had come up with a "stupid" way: when professors giving lectures in class, I record all of them, then after class listen to them once, twice...until I am able to better understand them. To do this, I bought a Sony walkman and some HQ TDK tapes on my part-time work wages. Whenever the professors started lecturing I would click on my walkman to record. Sometimes the American students sitting next to or in front of me were surprised and turned round looking at me, but I didn’t care. Between classes or after school, I would often walk on campus paths, or simply lie down on the green grasses under the school buildings, gazing at the blue sky and white clouds, while listening to my tapes.
At that time I lived in Chinatown nearby downtown LA. Every day after school, I took bus from Westwood and got off at the city center, then walked dozens of blocks to the east. By the time I returned to my residence it was usually after ten o 'clock at night.
These blocks were surrounded by rows of tall commercial buildings, but after 7 o 'clock in the evening, except a few night shops or clubs with lights, all fell into darkness. In the dim lights there could often be seen some tattered persons lingering behind shadows. These were so-called “homeless” and mostly blacks. They were relying on government relief for their livelihood, some begging for food or loose change from passengers, while some were hiding behind the begging but actually living on robbery and likely targeting at oriental singles.
One day after school I took a bus and got off at the main street in downtown, carrying a bag with school stuff to Chinatown. It was already ten o 'clock at night, most streets were deserted and dark, and only a few homeless could be seen scattering under the skyscrapers. When passing a street, there were two black guys coming across. The first walked over to me and said: "Hey man, change?"
I knew this was a term used by black beggars asking for money and usually by giving them a few coins or a dollar you could make them walk away. When I was just searching my pocket, all of a sudden the black guy dragged away my bag and pulled out a wallet, took out a $20 bill, dropped the bag to the ground and ran away. The other one followed him too, seemingly tried to get his share for the spoils. But since the former was running so fast that he couldn’t catch up with, so he returned to me, picked up the bag from the ground and started to search it again.
He quickly unzipped the bag, held it upside down and shook it skillfully. "Hua", among scattered books and other stuffs, a walkman and a few tapes could be seen clearly.
Those years, a high-quality walkman in the homeless could be traded for good money, and this black man certainly knew it, so he quickly picked up the walkman and tapes from the ground and rushed away too.
All of this had happened in only seconds and I could hardly respond. The 20 bucks was indeed nothing much but the robbery of my walkman and tapes, which I was relying on for my class study, was really a big loss.
After this incident, hurt by the feeling of loss I didn’t buy recorder or tapes any more, nor did I take any recording in class. But up to today I have still treasured and kept up one last remaining tape which I recorded from Social Psychology lectured by Prof. Marilyn nearly 30 years ago. Now when I take it out occasionally and play it on, my professor’s voice and the scene of lecturing can still be felt vividly.
At the same time, the incident had also given me experience on how to deal with a robbery and had offered me a rehearsal on how to physically and mentally survive a more serious and deadly attack years later.
6. Speaking English saved me from butcher’s knife
If I say that a person with good English communication skills will be able to show off fashion and education, will help find a good job, will be more likely promoted or get a pay raise in a career, will make more domestic and foreign friends, or will have better chance to go abroad for overseas studies, there should be no disagreement. But if I say speaking English could have saved a human life, perhaps no one would agree.
During my third year in the US, however, there was one incident that made me feel speaking English could be a matter of life and death. I had experienced another robbery and it was speaking English that had saved my ass from a butcher’s knife.
In the autumn of 1989, I moved from Pasadena to West Covina. Security in this area was not good but the rent was cheap. I went to UCLA class during the day and in evenings I worked for a Pizza Hut branch shop at Azusa Boulevard as a delivery guy.
One night, it had already passed ten o 'clock and I was going to get off from the work. Just then the telephone rang, a delivery order had come. The manager asked me to run one more time and I had no other choice. After a few minutes, I packed the pizza in a big case, started my Celica and then rushed into the streets. I wouldn't have expected that a death trap was there awaiting me.
It was a quiet neighborhood, and most residents probably had gone to bed. There was not a figure on the streets, only a few shimmering lights were flashing up from inside the house windows along the roadside.
My Celica stopped in front of a house down the street. I looked at the street No. and told myself: “Yes, here it is”. I parked the car across the street, got out and holding the pizza, walked on to the front steps. But I found the door light was off and the window facing the street was fully covered by the curtain with not even a glimmer of light seen. I stepped forward and knocked at the door but there was no answer. I knocked again and saw the window curtain move a little opening a small corner. Behind the corner I saw a Hispanic face show up and then disappear straight after.
“Fuck, what’s up?” I got a little impatient.
While I stood on the doorway wondering, a figure was coming from the corner of the house towards me. Looking at the size and shape, I could tell that he was a black man in 20s. Guessing he was the right person for the order, I said to him: "Hey sir, your order please!"
He had already walked over to me. Just at that moment, he suddenly struck down the pizza in my right hand with his left fist, followed by a heavy knock with his right fist straight at my left cheek. This sudden attack took me off guard and I fell down to the grass under the footsteps, the pizza scattering all over the ground.
At this time, from the corner of the house jumped out another black guy. They were both wearing tough shoes and kicked me hard all over my body. Then the first guy lowered himself down, put his left knee against my chest, one hand grasped my hair and his other hand pulled out a foot long butcher’s knife that he held against my neck with its sharp edge. Then the latter bent over me and searched my clothes. "Where's the money?" he whispered.
"Here it is!" From my pocket I pulled out a wallet and passed it over, it contained 30 dollars. The black guy dragged the wallet, took out the money and counted. "No… More, more! We want more money!" Obviously, this money couldn’t satisfy their appetites so they started striking me again and I let out a low but fierce cry.
Lying back down on the grass, I was feeling a sharp stabbing pain in the neck, but I couldn’t move at all. In the night sky, I could see only a few stars twinkling weakly. I felt the blood flowing from my nose and mouth, along my jaw and into ears, gurgling and dripping on to the grass.
"This guy got no money, we’d kill him!" I heard one of the blacks saying. Then, he pushed the blade forward against my neck, lowered his head and said to me: "Poor man, you saw us today, we goanna kill you!"
A terrible thought suddenly came across my mind: “They’re going to kill me! Is this the night, now, my last moment in the world?”
Triggered by such a thought, however, I had calmed down and the human survival instinct arose in me with all kinds of emergency reactive mechanisms instantly flashing before my mind, one after another. Benefitting from my profession in psychology, I had good personal character, and necessary knowledge and readiness as well on how to deal with such desperate situations. I knew I couldn't show any signs of resistance or intentions of the kind. I knew I must keep calm, must be rational and must make the assailants calm down and be rational too. At the same time I must also fulfill their desires and let them know I could make it right now. The only way to do all of these effectively was to keep communicating with them, both orally and psychologically!
Thinking of these, I had blurted out a bunch of English speaking:
"Calm down, sir!"
"Don’t do any stupid things, sir!"
"You can take everything you want, sir!"
"Save me and save yourself!"
These words really took effect at once. The sharp blade didn’t cut down and yelling tone also eased slightly. "What you have more?" One black guy asked maliciously.
"I’ve got a car, a Celica!" It suddenly emerged in my mind that I had a car, which might be the last piece of straw that could have saved me from sinking.
.
"Where’s it?”
"It’s over there!" I pointed to the car across the street.
"Where's the key?"
"In the car, go take it!"
"If no key, we kill you!"
Saying this, the black guy searching me immediately gave up and ran to the street. Moments later an engine starting sound came up.
"Come on, let's go!" A shout came from across the street. The other guy on me quickly removed the knife from my neck, stood up and ran into the darkness…
After a while, accompanied by a burst of engine acceleration, I heard the familiar sound of my Celica moving away in the distance. It was like I had just woken up from a nightmare. I rose to my feet from the grass, wiped out the blood from my mouth and cheek, heaved a long sigh of relief, and then, walked to the door of the house...
(End of Part One）
附：中文本
英语口语 — 一个只面对执着的回音
--- 一个“老三届”毕业生学习和实践英语口语的经历
谨以此文献给那些
在英语口语学习和实践的长期历程中
坚持不懈的朋友们
John Y， 修改于2013年
引 子
1971年夏秋之际的某日，上海复旦大学登辉堂。一个欢迎美国某友好代表团的大会刚刚开始，会场内外人山人海。作为复旦大学附属中学“老三届”的校友，怀着对美国人的好奇心，我也和几个好友专程赶来，精神亢奋地挤在人群之中。
一位两鬓斑白的外国人走上讲台——据说这是美国代表团团长。又一名身穿草绿色军装、臂上佩戴“红卫兵”袖标的男青年也走上讲台，站在美国人身旁，据说这是翻译。
美国人讲话了，又打住了……不知为什么没有翻译的声音。美国人讲了又停，停了又讲，仍然没有听到翻译的声音。难道他哑巴了？…… 台下猛然爆发出一片愤怒的嘘声：“下去，下去，换一个，换一个！……”
男“红卫兵”踉踉跄跄地下去了，又上来一位看上去面容清秀气度稳重的青年女子，也穿着草绿色军装，但没有“红卫兵”袖标。有人说她是外文系的青年教师，但是“黑五类”子女，不是“红卫兵”，所以开始没让她上。
美国团长定下神来重新讲话。每讲一句，青年女教师翻译一句，声音是那般清晰流畅，而在她每翻译一句过后，台下就响起暴风雨般的掌声。这掌声，不但是冲着美国朋友的友好言辞而去的，也是冲着这位青年女翻译而去的……
团长讲话结束了，青年女教师也下去了。但人群并没有停止躁动。“她太棒了！”有人大声说。我在这人群之中，第一次感受到英语口语能力的神奇和震撼。
当时没有想到的是，十多年后，当我站在一个美国代表团团长的身边，为他做同步翻译，对我来说也不是什么困难的事了。
上 篇
一、 从“ 猪棚英语”到浙大“外教英语课”
1968年末，我从复旦附中毕业，到上海宝山地区插队落户。经过两年的“战天斗地”，我被“选派”为饲养员，在生产队的猪棚里养猪。
当时社会上广为流行“读书无用论”和“英语无用论”，英语作为“封、资、修”的糟粕被打入冷宫，英语课在所有中小学教育中被废除。但我从心里对此不屑一顾。我不愿意放弃这个机会，从“旧纸堆”里翻出几本英语书带到乡下，经常利用养猪之余，坐在猪棚门口的石板上，边看英语书，边听耳边猪的嘶叫声。没想到这样就惹了祸。
有一天，大队干部检查生产路过我们生产队，大队支书也在其列。经过猪棚时，他恰巧看见我在低头看书，就走上来问：“你在看什么啊？”我来不及遮掩，只好说：“我在复习英语。”
他把书揣到面前一看，顿时脸拉了下来：“什么？英语？！你怎么下乡锻炼还要搞这个封资修？”说完把书往地上一扔，怒气冲冲的走了。我知道事情不妙了。
果不其然，几天后在全大队社员大会上，大队支书对我作了不指名的批判：“现在，我们大队还有个别下乡插队的知青，不好好接受再教育，还在怀念封资修那一套，在劳动时看什么英语，这怎么行？生产队要做严肃处理！”
但是，我并没有被唬住，继续偷偷地看我的英语。我所在生产队的“贫下中农”老乡也很同情我，根本不睬大队干部那一套。三年以后，他们又选我这个“洋秀才”当了生产队政治队长，从“猪倌”一跃而为“村官”。两年后，我的表现又被大队肯定，选送到上海师范大学（现华东师范大学）参加教师培训，为以后重新跨入大学校门创造了条件。
1978年，我参加文革后首届高考，录取了浙江大学力学系本科。我的英语课居然被免修了，这是因为我在高考中选考了英语，成绩达到80分以上。按照当年浙大的规定，英语高考选考成绩在60分及格线以上的新生，普通英语课一律免修。力学系78级有80多名新生，英语获得免修的只有两人。这正是所谓“皇天不负苦心人”，我在下乡期间对“垃圾英语”的不弃不舍，终于修来正果。
回想起来，与时下很多80后90后一样，我在中学时代对英语有一种朦胧而执着的爱好。这在很大程度上得益于我所就读的两所中学，具有高质量的英语教学和一流的英语教师团队。我初中读上海同济中学，高中读复旦附中，教我英语的先后是陈宗杨老师和邹家元老师。他们分别毕业于国内两所顶尖大学的顶尖英语专业：上海外国语学院（现上海外国语大学）英语系和复旦大学外文系。这两所学校和两位老师给我留下的英语底子，在以后数十年的生涯中，包括出国留学，可谓受用无穷。
进入大学后没有英语课上，这滋味也不好受。幸好从三年级起，浙大为各系英语免修生开了一门别开生面的英语课——外教英语课，任课教师是一位刚从美国邀请来的白人帅小伙子。这在文革后我国重新打开国门，实行对外开放的早期，是十分罕见的，况且我国与美国刚刚正式建交不久。
由于大学课程紧，我们的外教英语课课时不多，每周只有一次，每次两小时。但大家都上得津津有味。也许是因为美国小伙的上课方式比较特别，跟以往我们习惯的英语课主要讲语法和阅读完全不同，他上课的大部分时间，是与学生海阔天空地聊。虽然有课本，但他基本上不按课本讲，即使涉及课本，也是三言两语“虚晃一枪”，然后又回到他的海阔天空。有时候，他还带我们到校园里甚至西湖边去上所谓“现场情景课”。
那时的学生比较活跃，不管上课下课都争先恐后地与他聊。遗憾的是，这个小“老美”只爱跟女生聊，而且喜欢拣长得漂亮的，我们男生很少有机会。幸好他每天中午都要到校门口的小餐馆吃面，我也有同样的嗜好，所以常有机会在那里碰到他，趁机边吃面边与他“侃”两句英语。不论怎样，我对学习英语口语的起步与兴趣，是从这位美国小伙那儿开始的。
这次上美国外教的英语课，对我日后学习英语口语是一个启蒙。我也第一次感受到，学习英语和口语，可以不需要照着书本上学，可以不需要在课堂上学，或许那样学更加有效呢！
二、美国教授听不懂中国学生英语
1986年秋天，我以“自费自派”身份申请赴美国留学，被加州大学洛杉矶分校UCLA心理系录取，攻读心理学博士研究生。
在此之前我已通过“托福”考试，英语成绩达到录取美国一流大学研究生院的及格线。同时，我在浙大也上过一段时间美国外教的英语口语课，平时喜欢与有相同爱好的同学以英语聊天。所以，对于英语包括英语口语，我出国前的自我感觉还真不错。这种情形，与时下很多大学生通过英语4级和6级考试，平时以会侃几句英语而自得，颇为相似。
可是到美国我碰到了难题。我读UCLA心理学研究生，是跨学科、跨年级破格录取的。我的本科不是心理学，而UCLA的心理系又不设硕士课程，所有录取的研究生直接攻读PhD。在美国，心理学作为一门介于精神科学、生命科学和社会科学的综合学科，其对于英语语言背景、功底及其运用能力的要求之高，远非一般“门外汉”所能想象和胜任。为此，英语口语语言能力，对我提出了前所未有的挑战。
首先碰到的“障碍”是我的指导老师Bernard Weiner（伯纳德.维纳）教授。他是一位美国和国际认知心理学界的著名学者，以提出Motivation 和 Attribution（动机和归因）的著名理论而著称。他对我这样一个初来乍到的中国学生十分关顾，见面第一天，就送我一本他亲笔签名的近著：Human Motivation（《人类动机理论》）。可接下去问题就来了。他跟我讲话是按照与本土美国学生的正常语速，但我感觉他讲得很快，完全跟不上他的节奏。而在我讲话时，他虽然每每侧耳倾听，仍每每露出迷惑的样子，还时不时打断我说：“John, can you say it again?” 我很明显地感觉到，他听我讲英语非常吃力，也许压根儿就没听懂我在讲什么，只是出于礼貌和爱护，没有给我泼冷水而已。这反倒令我感到羞愧难当。我也迷惑了：难道我讲的不是英语吗？
我碰到的另一个“障碍”是我的Buddy，即系里分配给外国研究生新生“一带一”的美国学生伙伴。这是一位金发碧眼的美国女生，与我同在一个专业即“人格心理学”（Personality）读研，比我高一级。她与我之间的交流，就没有与教授那样温文尔雅了，几番不顺，她即不告而辞。
记得最后一次与她打交道，是在我入学那年的感恩节，她回西雅图老家过节去了。我因为有一件事要咨询她，就从洛杉矶给她家挂了个长途电话。电话接通后，我刚开口讲了几句，只听电话那头说：“Pardon?”
这个英语单词，现在国内学英语的恐怕没有不知道的。它用在这里的意思是：“对不起我没听懂”或“请烦请你再说一遍”。但在那个年代，很多中国人并不知道这层译意，也包括我在内。我当时只知道，这个词的书面解释是“请原谅我”。可我的Buddy刚接电话就对我说“请原谅我”，这是何用意呢？我一下子给懵住了。
可能因为没有反应，对方以为我没听清，又重复了一遍：“Pardon？”我仍然没有反应。隔了几秒，只听得听筒里“啪”的一声，对方把电话挂断了…… 可惜啊，从那以后，这位美女Buddy 再没有与我有过联系。
这件事及以后的英语实践，也使我认识到一个很重要的与外国人“无障碍交流原则”，即所谓“即时反应”原则。与老外在正常交流环境下讲英语，除了必须“来而有往”外，还必须“来而即往”，所谓“immediate response”。否则，这等交流只能以对方的“Sorry, I gotta go, bye!”结束。
还有一件更尴尬的事。上心理系研究生课，通常是清一色的美国学生，很少看到黄面孔。有一次上“人类性行为”（Human Sexual Behavior）课，美国学生都异常活跃，提问接答问，此起彼伏。可能教授看到只有我一个人神定一隅，表情木然，在讲完一段论述后，就走到我面前关切地问：“Does that make sense to you?”
我更加愕然，只好保持无动于衷，因为我听不懂他问的是什么意思。这时教室里所有美国学生都转身对着我看，好像在看一个外星人；而我除了满脸涨得通红外，不知所措，真有无地自容之感。
其实，这也是一句很普通的英语口语，意思是“你听懂了吗？”而当时我确实连这句话也听不懂，又何谈回答呢？
古人云：“士知耻而后勇”，就是这件事，从此激发起我一定要学好英语口语的决心。
后来，我在美国打过各种各样的工，接触过各种各样的人。我干过中餐馆的busboy（茶博士），当过Chinatown的yellow cab driver（出租车司机），当过华人家庭的house keeper（管家）, 当过美国连锁快餐店Pizza Hut的delivery guy（送外卖的），当过美国小学的cover teacher（代课老师），当过洛杉矶城中心区的motel manager（汽车旅馆经理），还当过美国大公司老板的私人内务助理（domestic assistant）。在美国十几年的学习、工作和生活使我认识到，我原来在国内学的练的英语口语，是Chinglish（中国式英语），在真实的英语环境里就成了“李鬼碰到李逵”，原形毕露，丑态百出。因此，要学真正地道的英语口语，必须从零开始。
三、听脱口秀和看肥皂剧受益最多
然而，即便是身处美国，也并非一直能接触到英语环境，更莫轻言融入美国人的社会。
在美国，华人与美国人基本上还是分属于两个社会，语言不同，文化不同，习俗不同，更重要的是心理不同，很少有美国人主动愿意到中国人的圈子里来，中国人要进入美国人的圈子则更难。
那末，怎样才能进入美国人的语言环境，消除这种文化和心理的差异呢？
在UCLA念书时我有几个中国学生roommate（室友），一个是学Math（数学）的，一个是学Double E（电工电子工程）的，他们比我早来美国几年，英语说得很溜，与美国人交流也无障碍，其中一个还当过84年洛杉矶奥运会中国代表团的义务随团翻译。我发现他俩平时爱看美国电视的talk show（脱口秀）、soap drama（肥皂剧）和MBA（全美篮球协会联赛）等体育及娱乐节目，一边看一边还喜欢模仿主持人或演员的讲话。原来，这类节目通俗易懂，英语口语特别丰富，对训练英语语感和吸收语言养分极有助益。另外还有一个室友是国内著名电影艺术家赵丹先生的小儿子赵劲，跟我同日签证同年去美同居一室，而其初时英语真不能恭维。但后来再碰到他时，发现他的英语口语居然有长足长进，显然，这同他在Motion Picture（电影）系读研，课内课外都接触到大量英语原声作品和录音资料有关。
关于在学生宿舍看美国电视，我们还有过一次惊险的经历，至今难忘。
那是在一个周末的晚上，我和上述几个室友正在宿舍里聚精会神地收看电视节目，因为那算是我们紧张的学业生活之余的一项主要爱好吧。
突然，我们窗口对面美国学生的宿舍，传来了震耳的音乐声和喧嚣声。美国学生每个周末都在宿舍里举办“Party（派对）”，又唱又跳又闹，搅得周围不得安宁。这次我们忍无可忍了。室友中Math系的陈同学比较血气方刚，当即从墙上取下一枝玩具长枪，冲到窗口，用枪指向对面喝道：“Shut up! Shut up!”（闭嘴，不要发声）
这下果有奇效，对面立马变得鸦雀无声。我们得以重返电视机前看电视。
几分钟后，突然“砰！砰！砰！”地敲门声大作。还没等我们意识到发生了什么事，几个全副武装的LAPD（洛杉矶警局）警员破门而入，用枪指着我们大叫：“Hand up! Hand up!”（把手举起来）“Knee down! Knee down!”（跪下）
我们一下子给吓懵了，一个个乖乖地手抱头跪在地板上。
“Where is the rifle?（长枪）”一个看似警官的问。原来，对面的美国学生报了警，LAPD以为有枪击案发生，来抓“枪匪”了！
陈同学反应比较灵敏，立即大声喊冤：“That’s a toy gun, officer! We are Chinese students. They were making too much noise, and we were just using the toy gun to shut them up.” 大意是：这是一只玩具枪，警官先生！我们是中国学生，他们太吵了，我们只是想用玩具枪吓吓他们闭嘴而已。
接下来的事就有点喜剧性质了。在大家你一言我一语的解释后，LAPD搞清楚我们只是些中国留学生，并无恶意，马上收起枪变得友善起来。临走不忘训诫我们说：“This is in America, not China. Remember, never point gun even toy-gun at innocent people, it’s against the law!” 大意是：这是在美国，不是中国。记住，永远不要把枪哪怕是玩具枪指向无辜的人，那样违法。
这次事件除给我上了一堂美国法律普及课外，更重要的是我看到，流利的英语沟通在消除中美文化隔阂乃至冲突中，起了无可替代的作用。
我要改变自己的语言状况，看起来也首先得从丰富语言环境入手，看肥皂剧和美国电影，听脱口秀。后来我发现，听脱口秀最好的地方，竟是在自家的车里。
在美国，办什么事都得开车。洛杉矶的Freeway（高速公路）又经常堵车，上下班高峰时一堵两三个小时，高速公路变成parking lot（停车场）乃是家常便饭。有人笑言，我们在美国的大部分时间，都是在车里度过的，此话不假。但这也给我提供了一个听电台脱口秀的好机会。
美国的电台广播充斥着各种各样的脱口秀节目，有的着实非常吸引人。通常是两个主持人就某个话题对讲，天南海北，衣食住行，你来我往，妙趣横生。所以我慢慢养成了个习惯，一上车就把收音机调到脱口秀，一边开车一边听，这样一天下来至少有两三个小时的“听力训练”。有时听得来劲而不可收，回到家里继续听。可以说我的英语听说能力，除了普通语言环境的影响外，更直接的是通过看电视、听脱口秀练出来的。回国后我对中央电视台英语频道CCTV9（后改为CCTV news）最喜爱的节目，也是其脱口秀Crossover（交流）、Dialogue（对话）、Up Close（聚焦），New Money（大款）等，觉得这类节目对训练英语口语、提高听说能力效果最为显著。
现在国内很多年轻人和公司员工学习英语口语，仍依赖于传统的课堂书本式讲学。以我个人的经历，单纯有限的课堂书本讲学，绝不可能弥补中国人语言环境的缺陷，更免谈学会地道的英语口语了。必须寻找和融入各种语言的实践，所谓Practice makes perfect 即“实践出真知”或“熟能生巧”是也。而坚持不懈地看英语脱口秀之类的节目或听英语原声材料，就是弥补中国学生语言环境不足的最重要的手段。
四、在加大印象最深的英语课
初到UCLA的外国留学生，按规定大多数要补修几个月至一年的ESL（English as a Second language英语作为外国语）课程，而且是本科生、研究生混合编班。
我到UCLA的第一年，也读了一个学期的ESL课程。记得花名册上还有电影系读研的中国学生王姬，据说她在去美国前已经在国内影视界颇具名气，但跟我不分在一个班。当时在洛城恶补英语的还有国内“双料”影后张瑜，我倒是与她打过一次交道。有一次赵劲彻夜不归，我按赵留给我的号码，给张拨了一个电话询问。我说“赵劲不见了！”只听对方说了一句：“My god!”这句英文虽只有两个字，以电影台词的口吻讲到如此有力度，令我至今记忆犹新。
我这个ESL班的学生除我一人来自中国外，多为亚洲人，包括韩国人、日本人、越南人等；除了我一人读研外，其他均为本科生。我惊奇地发现，他们的英语口语都比我们中国学生要强，特别是一个越美混血儿男生，“美语”讲得十分地道，令我羡慕不已。我想，这与这些国家从二战到越战先后跟美国有“染”，应该不无关系。
ESL课程的英语教师都是语言学系（Linguistic）的高年级研究生，清一色的本土美国人。他们以TA（Teaching Assistant 助教）身份任教，既有工资（助教金）拿，工作又轻松，如同北京大学中文系的中国本土研究生，教刚到中国来的美国学生学汉语，岂非piece of cake（小菜一碟）！
教我们英语课的也是一位语言系的美国女生。但我不大喜欢她的上课方式，因为她基本上还是cram class（“满堂灌” ）式教学，学生很少有交流的机会；同时她还讲很多语法内容，以示其对学习英语的重要性，其实这对我根本不适用。因为我们在国内中学的英语语法课，无论广度深度，都已远远超过美国大学生学的了。
所以，虽然我们这位老师讲一口地道的美式英语，但半年下来我自觉口语进步不大，还不如不同国家同学之间的交流，对提高口语更有助益。那时班上有一位越南女生，长得很清秀，特别喜欢跟我聊天，我也就顺水推舟，既有美女养眼，又可以练习口语，何乐而不为？后来我在国内参加英语沙龙活动，也发现这个“规律”：大凡有美女出现的场合，都有大批男生挤在周围以英语高谈阔论，乐此不疲，即便错误百出，但因“男女搭配，谈话不累”，仍不失是个练习提高英语口语的好途径。
总之，UCLA的ESL英语课，没有给我留学下多少印象，只有最后几节课是例外。那是教师为了检查评估学习成果，安排每个学生上台做featuring presentation专题演讲。
演讲的题目和内容都是学生自己提前准备好的，由教师做一定的提示。演讲时间规定为十分钟，演讲完毕由教师和其他学生提问，演讲人解答，教师根据其表现打分。记得我演讲的题目是：“How to melt into the multi-national melting-pot and overcome the culture shock?” (如何融入多民族大熔炉和克服文化冲击？)虽然自觉表现不尽人意，但美国教师鼓励有加。只有这堂课，我觉得对自己的口语能力促进和帮助最大。
有鉴于此，后来我在国内外资企业人员的英语培训中，大量采用presentation on hot topics （热点话题演讲），又把这种方式进一步推广到situational dialogue（情景对话）练习，果然很受欢迎。如果说，听看英语脱口秀和肥皂剧是一种语言实践的input（输入），那么做英语情景对话和话题演讲就是一种语言实践的output。只有反复不断地把这种input和output的语言实践相结合，才是提升英语口语能力科学有效的途经。
五、摩天大楼下黑人抢走了我的上课录音
在洛杉矶留学生活的第一年，有一件事令我后来很长一段时间伤心不已：我上课用的walkman（随身听）连同cassette（录音带）在放学回家的路上被黑人抢走了。
事情的缘由要从上课录音开始。
刚入UCLA心理系，Weiner教授指定我上两门研究生必修课，一门是Personality Psychology（个性心理学），由心理系主任Feshbach 教授讲授；另一门是Social Psychology（社会心理学），由心理系客座教授Marilyn讲授。这两位是心理系除了Weiner之外我最喜爱的教授。
这两门课程分别从个体和社会的角度窥探人性的奥秘，令我特别感兴趣。但课上精深的理论阐述和连篇的案例分析，都是滔滔不绝地用英语进行，加上大量term 术语，令我应接不暇，常常似懂非懂，一知半解。我知道，这种困难的形成，一方面缘于我对西方社会人文心理背景了解的缺失，但出国前缺少英语口语听说训练，是更基本的原因。要迈过这道槛，还是要先从语言入手。
怎么办？我想了个“笨”办法：把教授讲课内容全程录下来，回来反复重听一遍、两遍 …… 为此，我用打工的钱买了台日本产的Sony walkman（收、录、放三用机，俗称“随身听” ），又买了十几盘Sony 和TDK高音质cassette tape（卡式录音磁带）以及数十节高性能电池，总共花了我一百多美元辛苦打工钱。此后，上课只要教授一开口，我就“咔嚓”把录音机打开。有时邻座的美国学生对我侧目而视，我亦泰然处之。下课或放学后，我就到学校花园般的小径上，一边散步一边听录音，或干脆躺在教学楼前绿茵茵的草地上，一边凝视蓝天白云，一边洗耳静听。
那时候我住在紧挨洛杉矶Downtown Area（城中心）东侧的Chinatown（中国城），每天下课后，从位于西区Westwood（华人称“西木区” ）的UCLA回家，要坐巴士先在城中心区下车，然后步行十几个街区，回到中国城住处时，一般都要在夜里十点以后。
这十几个街区，虽然被鳞次栉比的高楼大厦所环绕，但到了晚上七点以后，除了夜店和大楼少数灯光外，大都被一片阴森森的黑暗所笼罩。昏暗的灯光下，常可看到三三两两穿着褴褛的黑影在游荡，这就是所谓的homeless（无家可归者），基本上都是些黑人。他们有的靠政府救济维持生计，有的靠乞讨混日子，有的则明里乞讨，暗中抢劫，目标锁定东方人。
那一天，我从UCLA放学后坐bus在城中心下车，背着书包往中国城方向走。已经是夜里十点了，街上行人稀少，只有几个homeless 在摩天大楼下的转角处晃悠。当经过一条街时，迎面走过来两个黑人，一前一后。前面那个走到我跟前时说：“Hey man, changes !” 意思是：“伙计，有零钱吗？”
我知道这是黑人beggar 讨零钱的行话，通常给几个硬币或一块钱纸币就可以打发走的。我刚往裤袋里掏硬币，对方突然伸手抓住我的书包往后猛揣，书包瞬间被他抢走了。只见他从书包里掏出一只钱包，从钱包里又取出我仅有的一张20元美金纸币，把书包扔下撒腿就跑。后面那个黑人见状也跟了上去，看样子是想去分赃。但前面那个跑得太快，这个黑人没追上，于是折返回来，把我刚从地上捡起的书包，又抢了回去。
这个黑人快速拉开书包上的所有拉链，倒过来底朝天一抖。只听“哗啦”一声，书本和用品撒了一地，我上课用的walkman 和几盘录音带也赫然在其中。
那年头，一只高质量的walkman在homeless圈子里可卖得几十美金。那个黑人显然知道其价值，所以大喜过望，将walkman连同录音带从地上捡起来，一溜烟跑得无影无踪。
所有这些都只发生在十几秒时间内，令我来不及反应。如果说前面那个黑人抢走我20美元还只是小事，那后面这个黑人抢走我“赖以为学”的walkman和录音带，才真令我遭受了重大损失。
那次事件以后，我再没有买过录音机，上课也不再用录音。但我至今仍珍藏着当年Marilyn 教授讲授社会心理学唯一保存下来的一盘录音带。现在偶尔拿出来播放，美国教授讲课的朗朗之声，听上去依然很新鲜、很受益，二十多年前UCLA课堂的情景恍如历历在目。
同时，这次事件也教训了我如何对付黑人的抢劫，为几年后在一次更大的生死攸关的黑人抢劫案中化险为夷，做了精神上和行动上的预演。
六、讲英语让我刀下逃生
如果我说，一个人具有良好的英语沟通能力，能够展现时尚和教养，能够帮助找到好的工作，能够有助于升职和加薪，能够交更多的中外朋友，或者能够方便于出国深造，应该没有人会反对。但是如果我说，会讲英语能够救人一命，大概就没有多少人会同意了。
然而，我到美国的第三年，有一件事让我看到会不会讲英语操纵了生死大权。我遇到了黑人蓄谋袭击抢劫，是讲英语救了我一命。
1989年秋天，我的住处从洛城的Pasadena（帕萨迪纳）搬到West Covina（西柯汶那）。这个区的安全不太好，但房租较便宜。我白天到学校上课，晚上利用余暇时间在Pizza Hut（美国连锁快餐店“匹萨屋”，在中国称“必胜客” ）打工，专管送匹萨外卖。
有一天晚上，时间已经过了十点，我该下班了。正好这时电话铃声响了，来了个外送的order（订餐）。当班经理让我再跑一趟，算是加班。我别无选择。几分钟后，我包装好匹萨饼，启动了我的那辆Celica（丰田跑车），向黑暗中驶去。我怎么也不会想到，一个死亡的陷进正在等待着我。
那是一个僻静的街区，居民此时大多已经熄灯就寝。路上没有一个人影。路边除了一幢幢黑鸦鸦的住房，只有玻璃窗上粼粼的闪光忽隐忽现。
车在一幢沿街的房屋前停下。我对了一下号码——没错，就是这家。我把车停在路边，手托着一大盒匹萨饼，走上门前的台阶。可不知为什么，这家的门前灯没有亮，对着街的窗帘也掩得严严实实的，看不见一丝灯光。我敲了敲门，没有动静。又敲了敲，旁边窗户的帘子动了一下。隔着玻璃窗我看到一张脸，但马上又消失了。
“Fxxx！What’s up?”（妈的，怎么回事？）我心里有些不耐烦了。
我站在门口正纳闷，从房子的转角处闪出一个人影，向我走来。从体型和肤色上看，这是一个体格强壮的黑人，约莫二十来岁。“这应该是order匹萨饼的房子主人了！”我迎着他走过去。“Sir, this is your order.” 我一边说，一边将匹萨递过去。
他已经走到我跟前。说时迟，那时快，他猛然伸出左手掀翻我右手托着的匹萨饼，紧接着右手一个直拳重重地击打在我的脸上。这突如其来的袭击令我猝不及防，四脚朝天摔倒在台阶下的草地上，匹萨撒了一地。
这时从房子转角处又窜出一个黑人。两人用穿着大头皮鞋的脚先对我一阵乱踢，然后先前那个黑人蹲下身，用左膝盖抵住我的胸部，一只手抓住我的头发，另一只手从身上抽出一把一尺多长的利刃，用刃尖抵住我的颈子。后来的黑人则弯腰搜我的衣服。“Where’s the money?”他低声嚎叫。
“Here’s the money!”我从裤袋里掏出皮夹子递过去，里边有四十多美元。黑人一把抢过去，抽出钱数了数。“No, more, more! We want more money!”显然，这点小钱满足不了他们的胃口，他们又继续凶狠地喊叫。
我仰面躺在草地上，除了感到利刃搁在脖子上的阵阵刺痛，一动也不能动。夜空中，只有几颗星星无力地闪着光。我又感觉到血从鼻孔和口腔流出来，顺着腮帮流到耳根，汩汩地淌到草地上。
“This guy got no money, we’d kill him!”（这家伙没钱，我们最好宰了他！）我听到其中一个黑人在说。接着，那个用利刃抵住我脖子的黑人低下头来，轻轻对我说：“You saw us today, we’re gonna kill you!”（你今天看见我们了，我们要杀了你！）
一种可怕的预感突然在我脑海升起：他们要杀我了！这个夜晚，现在，是我在美国，也就是在这个世界上的最后一刻了！
可是这样一想，我反而镇静下来，一种求生的本能使各种应急的念头在一瞬间一一闪过。好在修学心理专业的我素有较好的心理素质，也有如何对付这种突袭的必要知识和心理准备。我知道，我不能表现有丝毫的反抗动作或意图，而必须镇静，必须理智，也要让凶徒镇静和理智；同时，我还要满足他们的欲望，要立即让他们知道我能办到这一点。而要做到所有这一切，唯一有效的办法是持续保持与他们的沟通，语言的和心理的！
于是，一连串英语从我嘴里脱口而出：
“Calm down, sir!”（镇静，先生！）
“Don’t do stupid thing, sir!”（别做傻事！）
“You can take everything you want, sir!”（你们要什么就拿什么吧，先生！）
“Save me and you save yourself!”（拯救我也就是拯救你们自己！）
这一招果然有效，黑人的利刃没有下来，叫喊的口气也稍稍缓和了些。“What you have more?”（你还有什么？）
“I’ve got a car, a Celica!”（我有一辆丰田跑车！）我突然想起我的车，这是最后的救命稻草了。
“Where’s it?”（在哪里？）
“It’s over there!”（街对面！）我指了指街对面的车影。
“Where’s the key?”（钥匙呢？）
“In the car，go take it!”（在车上，去取吧！）
“If no key, we kill you!”（如没钥匙，就宰了你！）
旁边的黑人起身向街对面跑过去。一会儿传来车启动的马达声。
“Come on, let’s go!”（过来，快走！）车那边传来叫喊声。那个骑在我身上的黑人，马上将利刃从我脖子上移开，扔下我，转身飞快地向街对面跑去。
不一会儿，伴随着一阵熟悉的引擎加速的尖啸，我听到车向远处驶去的声音。这时，我才如噩梦醒来般从地上爬起来，擦了擦嘴边的鲜血，长长地吁了一口气，向那家人家的门口走去……
（上篇完）
